The Lighter Side of Life According to...

The true north strong and free (31):
ALnICOS
ORNATEL(Y)
PRAISED
GaNISTE(R)
(H)ABAnERO
(S)AUCEPAN
MOURNeR
AIRLESS
CONTE(N)TS
ERUDITE
SIN(C)ERER
TOStADA (second Southwestern cuisine bingo of the day, no coincidence we went for Mexican dinner)
B(O)NIFaCE (out-bingo, as opponent graciously provided letter and emptied bag - serves this douchebag right)
ARsONIS(T) (missing HANdWRI(T) the previous turn)
AUDIENT(S)
(C)ULVERTS
IATRIC(A)L
EScHEWS
SKILLEd
ROLLINg
ENt(O)DERM
PROPINE
PRoLEGS
FOrBEAR(S)
DI(S)aVOWS
BAYON(E)TS
(T)ARRIEST
cORVINA
HENLEYs
UNLI(M)BER
SUaVEST

The largely independent (16):
SOUrEST
AN(S)ERINE
dISLIMN
PARTIED
aPOGEES
FATTIER
NEGATOR
AROUSeS
(S)YNTAGMS
TENACES
CURTAI(L)S
SLAINTE
MIlLERS (that's MILLERS)
AGEISTS
(T)INSELED
(I)NDOCIlE (INDOCILE with both blanks)

I went on vacation and all I got out of it was this stinking article

Well, technically, that isn't entirely true. But I did work extremely hard on this (wink, wink), so I would urge others to read this in the next couple hours before the information becomes outdated.

This past weekend was the Madness, Scrabble edition. Today begins the insanity known as the NHL Free Agent Frenzy. Teams will be spending more money than Johnny Depp would if he was at a restaurant all day long. By tonight, most NHL rosters will look messier than a set of Japanese hotel rooms, while others will seem tamer than a Pavel Datsyuk hairstyle.
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More to come, including tournament miscellanea, the longest bus ride ever, and further details on how you can enter the "Guess When Evan's New MacBook Will Die" Roto.

To all my Canadian peeps, have a happy Canada Day. To anyone else, I urge y'all to postpone celebrations for at least three days. Just a hunch.

The bus ride was painful as usual, and that doesn't include the multiple torrential downpours (where we almost had to stop twice) or the really loud passengers (woo hoo for headphones and loud music/TV shows). I got some wicked whiplash from sleeping, so I woke up every five minutes when my neck gave out.

But I'm here with my honey after a peaceful dinner and efficient grocery trip. And I just found out about the latest entertainment news. Sheesh, wow, what a day.

Totally psyched for this weekend. The Madness, bring it on.

Last week of the season-ending club tournament. 3-0, +531 to finish 7-2, +660. 1st place and the endless riches $35 can provide.

Kissed the championship trophy and assured it I'd see it again in September. It acted all stoic and stuff, but I could sense some uneasiness.

The final bingos:
My bingos are good: pLEADED, INvASIO(N) [1], G(A)ROTTES, (O)TALGIeS, (S)HuNNERS, (L)ENITENT* [2], (T)RENAILS
Their bingos are...very few in number: LItERAT(E) [3]

[1] Wasn't totally sure of the S-hook or else it would have been SINOpIA/TELLYS for six more
[2] This was against Dunlop. He asked after the game if there was any word close to that. After relaying the usual suspects and him then continuing to pose the question again and again, I finally blurted out: "Yeah, LENITENT* for 74. You know, as in the phony I played."
[3] He missed the layup DWS-DWS REALIsT for 22 more points. And the L provided me what I needed for my dubious entry. If I was going to take it easy on Dunlop, then he shouldn't have tried crap like RALLEYE* or BILINES*. P.S., I won by 17.

Unless a rock comes down and crushes me to dust between now and next Wednesday, I believe I've won the Toronto Club championship for a sixth time.

2-1 last night, 4-2 overall in the tournament. In our group of 10, no one is 6-0 or 5-1. And I play the three other 4-2s next week.

More bingo boredom, but here goes:
Major monotony: GOLDARN, DISSEAT(S), RAMILIE(S), (M)ANACLES, BOOsTER, UNBITT(E)R, DELIMED
Everlasting ennui: ZOnULEs, TALONED, NEUTRON, RELaTER(S), I(N)SpIRES, OPENInG
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In case you missed today's major soccer news, here's a brief look at insanity.

Thanks for the money, suckers. That'll buy us two, maybe three, top-flight players. Sweet.

...if hockey is your bag, baby


Yeah, sorry if the subject line is misleading. But it's game night, and we're not talking about Game 3 of the Lakers-Magic series. Or BoSox-Yanks, however interesting that could be in early June.

Read, enjoy, and learn. Talk about it with your friends. Share with your enemies.

Discuss the different ways this column has enriched your life. Or merely predict who you think will win. I'm gonna say Pittsburgh takes it tonight to send it to a Game 7 on Friday. The home crowd has sure helped so far in the Finals, so I think that trend will continue.

Game starts just after 8PM EST. Try to watch it on CBC if you can. Heaven help you if NBC is your only option.

Went for my Genius appointment. Turned on the MacBook and it worked fine. Genius Dude reset the RAM, restarted it, and the beeping started up again. Upon conferring with another GD and a couple websites, it was confirmed the laptop is DOA.

Called Apple Care with a new Case ID and had a replacement model ordered. The phone tech wasn't sure if I'd be getting one of the really, really new models (i.e. from the line that was just introduced today) or one of the ones from two weeks ago. I told him all I cared is that I got one that worked. Should be receiving it within the next week.

Crossing my fingers this one won't totally screw up.

Called the Apple Store at Yorkdale and booked an appointment for Monday at 2PM. When I come in, I'm supposed to ask for a 'Genius' to see what's wrong with my MacBook. I'm hoping it's not a similar 'Genius' to the one who set up my defective laptop.

After having the new MacBook for exactly one week, I'm already having problems with it. I had it on, went in the other room for 20 minutes, and returned to see some squiggly lines on the screen. Shut it off, tried to turn it back on but the screen stayed black and there's a beeping noise. Read the instruction manual to see if inserting the Mac OS X disk while hitting a few keys would work. Nope.

So I called Apple Support. Apparently, none of them have had much experience looking at the new MacBook. The first person I spoke to asked me to pull the battery out, but I had problems doing that since there's a 'cord' attached to it. After I ended my conversation and hung up, I realized the thing beside the doohickey I just almost removed was actually the battery. D'oh. Called them back and spoke to another rep. She suggested holding Shift-Control-Option while powering off. But when I turned it back on, same beeping.

Both reps suggested it was a problem with my RAM and advised me to go to the nearest Apple support centre, or Apple Store in my case. Basically, I have to wait until Monday to get this fixed since I work the next three days. Super. Well, at least I have the work PC laptop until then. But I'm kinda pissed I spent the extra $ on a Mac and it's already glitchy.

This only follows from one of the worst mornings I ever had, but I won't talk about that in order to prevent further depression.

So I haven't posted a club report in ages. Really, there hasn't been anything exciting that I can remember over the last couple months. But tonight, the end-of-season club tournament began. Three weeks of board-to-board excitement. Or not.

Of course, with poslfit involved, there's online coverage. With six games left, I've got a sizable lead for the overall championship. And I already have played arguably the two toughest opponents. But I've learned never to assume anything until it's over. Be realistic. Don't look over your shoulder. Unless someone else is throwing salt over their own.

The first game was a bye because someone forgot to show up (and I believe didn't call during the night to inform us), so it's only two games worth of bingos.

Bingos du jour:
Foie gras: ISOGOnE, URINATE(D), VIRID(I)aN, NESTLES
Coupe de merde: T(E)NTORIA, ESCA(R)OLE, SHOOINg, PEdANTI(C)

Bonus bingo from SitC on Monday: GEN(ERA)LISe for a whopping 63. Woo hoo.

After yesterday's disheartening soccer result, I thought it was time for a change...

Before:



( After... )

Just arrived at the pub...for a game that starts in five hours. Got our pride, got our lucky booth.

ManU-Barcelona, Champions League final. Pregame show starts at 1:30, actual game begins at 2:45. ESPN/TSN will be showing it live, so I don't want to hear any excuses why you couldn't catch even part of the match. (Work or family obligations are not valid excuses.)

ON UNITED!!!

Shave and a haircut...two bits?!? Yeah, yeah, so I definitely need both. But first, I attempt to scare the crap out of a few relatives at dinner tonight.

In other news, it seems as though the CanAm streak will continue. Thanks to attrition and the Denver factor, there's a very high chance of qualification.

And I just ordered a MacBook. It's about freakin' damn time.

Just when you thought it was safe to surf the 'Net... (Look for the 'Neutral Zone Wrap' link.)

(EDIT: Now that I'm at home, here's the actual link to the column. Catch it before it becomes extinct.)

Big thanks to rotojeff for posting it to Yahoo so people can once again point, click, and laugh.

Most of y'all haven't seen the last three installments, but you haven't missed much. The beard saga is pretty much the same, but here you have to endure the pictures.

At least take a look while the material is still relevant. Any comments or other feedback is much appreciated.

Number of top division league titles going into the 1992-93 season:
Manchester United: 7
Liverpool: 18

Number of top division league titles as of now:
Manchester United: 18
Liverpool: 18

Take that, you Scousers!

There, this angle should eliminate any mullet accusations. Nope, can't see anything that could be thought of as a mullet. Zero mullet visibility. I don't want to hear anything further about a potential mullet.

I think I'm gonna go out to the movies, put on my shades, and pretend I'm one of the stunt-Wolverines. Any guesses are welcome as to which flick I'll be watching.

Sometimes it's best not to waste time thinking what others think of you. And then again, there's always the Internets. The home of public opinion, viral videos, and downloadable porn.

While Googling my name in this vast wasteland repository, I stumbled upon this gem. Hehe, it's kinda funny to be listed there. And definitely flattering, now that I can confirm at least four people read my column.

Speaking of the column, it appears Yahoo doesn't outsource its fantasy hockey news in the playoffs and offseason. So it's only on RotoWire, meaning no regular free online viewing until next fall. Please try to hold back the tears.

On the subject of tears, I was considering making a playlist of all the songs I have that make me cry. But then I realized that list could be too long and/or depend on mood/situation. Heck, I cry in reaction to lots of stupid things: current events, the weather, every recent episode of House. So I'm moving on to creating a playlist of songs that could be used for relaxation purposes. Results to be divulged as soon as the votes are tabulated.

Taken an hour ago. I imagine the pic as Wolverine on a boring day. And without the sculpted body. And without those shiny metal blades.
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US/Russia, WHC semi #1 on now. Canada/Sweden at 2. NHL Playoffs tonight. IH8HAVINGTOWATCHTV. :)

Champions League semifinal, 2nd leg:

Arsenal 1 Manchester United 3
(Aggregate score: 1-4)

Now on to the Final three weeks tomorrow in Rome against either Chelsea or Barcelona (who play their 2nd leg tomorrow).

I'll try and find video evidence of either Ronaldo goal later, as I'm currently in transit. But you can probably see highlights on ESPN/TSN since they broadcasted the match.

EDIT - Here are both of Cris's goals:
The first one (Look at the replay and the confidence.)
The second one (What a passing clinic. And watch for Ronaldo's gesture to the crowd at 0:18. Nice.)

Damn, soccer sounds so much cooler in Portuguese.

Two-plus weeks down, five or six more to go. Although if Manchester United make the Champions League Final at the end of May, I'll probably cave to the shave then.